I hate Varian Wrynn so much. And it’s not just because I’m for the Horde.

The thing is, I can’t get over how much of an ass he is. It doesn’t help that people think he’s badass and cool for being a complete and utter a-hole; every time I hear someone singing Varian’s praises I want to gag a little. Really? He bugs me for the exact same reason Fandral Staghelm does, which is that his ability and/or desire to make decision for the benefit of his people is consistently overridden by his personal desires and vendettas.

In the Secrets of Ulduar trailer, he doesn’t do anything heroic or even good–he allows his hatred of Thrall and orcs to override any sense in seeing that HELLO, OLD GOD, can’t we just, you know, agree to disagree and maybe work together to keep this evil out? Sir? Your Highness, King of Stormwind?

But, no. What would his people say if they knew his reaction to a dire threat was to brawl in public?

Look, I know that in the comic Varian Wrynn’s been through a lot–kidnap, amnesia, being a gladiator. But the fact of the matter is that his kidnap and amnesia? Were not Thrall’s fault. They were not even the orcs’ fault, unless the orcish individuals in question were part of the Defias Brotherhood, which, again–not affiliated with the Horde. And quite frankly the reason the Defias were even attacking him was because he allowed his nobles to kick them out without payment. Really, Varian? You make stonemasons work and rebuild your city for four years and then throw them out with paying what you agreed to pay? And you’re surprised they lashed out at you? Please, you asshole. And another thing, why the fuck would Thrall or the Horde want to sabotage you on your way to a peace conference? Seriously? You can’t have the possibility of an alliance without both parties wanting to talk.

And another thing–blaming Thrall for the gladiators? Look, I know Varian doesn’t exactly know Thrall’s history, but Thrall was raised in slavery to be a gladiator. Being denied freedom and forced to live a life of brutality for the amusement of others? He’s been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, lost it in battle. You don’t see Thrall demanding retribution from the entire Alliance for the wrongs done him in his youth, do you? You don’t see him demanding Varian lose his head for Tabetha’s death, do you? No, because he’s not a self-absorbed asshat like Varian Wrynn. He understands that the wrongs of the few shouldn’t be attributed to the many or even thrown onto the shoulders of a scapegoat. But Thrall is Varian’s scapegoat; he is the person Varian blames for all his problems when, quite frankly, some of them were rooted in his own arrogance and greed. And Varian is allowing his personal mad-on for Thrall affect his ability to rule. That doesn’t make him cool or badass; that makes him Fandral fucking Staghelm, the guy people let Horde raids take out because nobody likes him.

I understand that Varian is also grieving for Bolvar Fordragon. Hey, they were best buddies, they barely got a chance to say hello to each other before he was killed. I see the grief, I sympathize, I do not sympathize with allowing his grief to endanger his people. Seriously, he is not the only person to lost someone in that battle. He makes his whole spiel about the Alliance losing more people, well, that’s just the way the cookie rolls sometimes and considering the Horde probably lost significant, elite (they were on wolves, after all) troops as well–who is he to go around saying WE LOST MORE AND SO WE ARE JUSTIFIED IN HATING YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T LOSE AS MANY rather than hating, you know, the guy who made the plague? And orchestrated its use? You know, some dude named VARIMATHRAS THE MOTHERFUCKING DREADLORD.

Look, I know that Varian doesn’t know half this stuff. But the reason he doesn’t know half this stuff isn’t that the Horde won’t talk to him–Thrall answered the summons to Dalaran pretty quickly, and he had to have known that if Jaina was calling then the Alliance was probably involved somehow, and he was probably also hoping that Dalaran being, you know, neutral territory would help keep hostilities at bay and oh oh oh let’s not forget that he had to have beenwilling to talk for the initial peace conferences anyway–it’s that Varian completely shuts down any possibility of communication. He refuses to examine how the Alliance was the cause of his troubles, how members of the Horde don’t represent the entire Horde, and instead focuses on hating Thrall who, quite frankly, hasn’t really given him a reason for hate except that he’s an orc and members of his Horde happen to engage in reprehensible activities.

And, as his little hissyfit in the Secrets of Ulduar trailer shows, he’s perfectly willing to allow his personal and pretty unreasonable and irrational hate for Thrall wreck attempts at alliance in the face of the greater evil, ie. Yogg-Saron and the fucking Lich King (who, by the way, was originally human and therefore originally Alliance). Did Varian not realize that losing Northrend would also result in his own men being lost, thus rendering the loss of Bolvar’s life completely insignificant? Yeah, way to honor your friend there, Varian. Let your hotheadedness and willful blindness and scapegoating and inability to get your head out of your ass render his death completely useless, I’m sure Fordragon really appreciates it.

Granted, Garrosh Hellscream didn’t act any better. But Thrall, who is warchief of the Horde and therefore the one who would be in charge of orchestrating any peace or alliance, didn’t act. He did not go into that room in Dalaran with hostile intent. He went in with the knowledge that bad shit is going down, maybe we’d better sit down and listen to the powerful mage people and maybe decide what to do so we don’t all friggin’ die.

So congrats, Blizzard. Varian Wrynn is indeed the anti-Thrall. He’s a completely unlikable jerkface who needs to die in a fire ASAP, and good riddance to him say I.

(ETA 2: originally written 03/17/2009 but if I want to backlog posts I can, so there. :P)

So hey, who wants a manga rec?

In a nutshell, Vassalord is about Charley the cyborg vampire who is a vampire hunter and his adventures with Rayflo, a hedonistic vampire who is his master and the source of his blood. If you guessed it was shounen-ai, you guessed right! But the description utterly fails to take into account the complex relationship between Charley and Rayflo, one that’s long and changing and is full of denial and confessions and forbidden desires and just, I was expecting a thinly veiled excuse for extremely homoerotic blood-sucking and yeah, there is that, but I wasn’t expecting the twistiness of Charley and Rayflo at all.

It helps that the characters are themselves interesting. There is no set seme or uke (top or bottom) which I find fascinating as a part of their complex relationship to each other. The other characters are pretty cool too, and when’s the last time you saw a scruffy hard-boiled detective in a manga? And then there’s the obscure vampire lorebits, and the plot which looks to be shaping up to something rather interesting…The characterizations are a bit shaky in the beginning but they even out, same with the art.

Even if the premise doesn’t sound like your thing, check it out anyway and give it a couple chapters. Probably not NSFW; there’s no sex (only sublimations) only violence (well, it’s got vampires, what were you expecting?) and some non-explicit nudity. Also Rayflo likes to go around with his shirt open (I’m not complaining, but people around you might).

The link up top leads to an online viewers which seems to be a bit slow so be warned if you have a slow connection.

ETA: I just got some exposition on one of the newest characters and a;dkljaf;sdkf, why is this manga so much more awesome than it should be. On the other hand, cyborg vampiric vampire hunter so uh, maybe not that surprising after all.

Yes, I watched it. No, these aren’t all my notes. Yes, beware of spoilers for pretty much the entire first season. No, I didn’t watch every single episode, mostly because I wanted to skip to the slashier ones and then didn’t feel like going back to see the other two.

I’d put up the extended notes, but I’d want to put them into some semblence of order first, and Merlin seems to have been a hothothot-cooooooold fandom for me. Le sigh.

(Format cribbed from Copperbadge’s various “3 Things About –” posts.)

1×01: The Dragon’s Call

1. Country-boy-in-big-city Merlin is so freaking cute.

2. Merlin has the self-preservation instinct of a retarded gnat.

3. The writing is kind of awful and it’s so full of plot holes (witch lady, if you can teleport and steal faces and kill with a touch then why didn’t you just save your freaking son?) but uh, I kind of like it. If only because I’m floating on kawaii kawaii Merlin-chan~ <3

3a. Tinkly sound effects are tinkly. XD

1×02: Valiant

1. Arthur in armor is hot. Arthur fighting with a sword while wearing armor? Even hotter.

2. Despite the fact this show and this episode all focused on Merlin, I like how Arthur’s actor kept Arthur’s own mini-storyling moving subtly in the background. Or maybe characters trying to live up to expectations is kind of my narrative kink.

3. I love how magic is kind of goofy when it comes to Merlin, like it’s his own personalized expression. I don’t know. Good magic is dorky, maybe?

3a. Why the fuck was there a vaguely-Mongolian-ish knight? A black knight I can believe because we’ve got Gwen in a position of honor as Morgana’s servant. But Mongolian?

1×03: The Mark of Nimueh

1. Arthur looks so good in that trenchcoat, and yet I just can’t get over how very anachronistic it is. And how he didn’t take it off even though he was going to fight an evil beast. I mean, what?

2. Oh Merlin. You try so hard to be good, but still, you are like a retarded gnat when it comes to self-preservation. Thank goodness Gaius is there to help you outgrow your retarded gnat tendencies.

3. ALCHEMY, not SCIENCE. Writers, get your words right. >(

3a. I think the dragon LIKES making cryptic statements. His interactions with Colin are like this little meta-nod to how frequently the Wise Benefactor gives uselessly cryptic advice. I dunno, I really like it. John Hurt is cool. :D

1×04: The Poisoned Chalice

1. You know as good as Arthur looks in a trenchcoat he looks EVEN BETTER in that short little jacket I mean unf baby. (He’s neither younger than me nor an effeminate prettyboy. THIS IS SO WEIRD.)

2. The magic use is inconsistent and this makes me angry. So is the wearing of Arthur’s crown/coronet/circlet/thingy. Grrr!

3. The plot is as holy as Swiss cheese, the writing is Cheddar and Parmesan combined AND YET I FIND MYSELF LIKING THE SHOW.

3a. I bet while Arthur was imprisoned he was thinking something along the lines of “Merlin better appreciate my missing a meal for his sake or else there will be consequences for which I cannot be held responsible. *grumps*”

1×05: Lancelot

1. Arthur is such. an ass.

2. Okay, just. I am going to assume that Lancelot was like, a mercenary or something and had to sell his mercenary armor (or wasn’t allowed any armor) until now because just, yeah.

3. Notice how Arthur goes from insulting to complimentary in like five seconds without ever actually changing his train of thought?

3a. WHY ARE THEY DISCUSSING MERLIN’S SPELL IN FRONT OF THE GUARDS STOP ENCOURAGING MERLIN’S RETARDED GNAT TENDENCIES LANCELOT GEEZ.

1×06: A Remedy to Cure All Ills

1. Uther is so outwardly affectionate to Morgana, but with Arthur he’s all…”Okay so maybe you didn’t mess that up entirely.” I wonder if Arthur ever gets jealous?

2. I find myself kind of liking Edwin, actually. It’s not like he doesn’t have a legitimate reason for wanting revenge; the whole parents-were-evil thing feels kind of shoehorned in and you know, the study of dark magic doesn’t make you evil, per se. Plus, he did box Gaius in pretty well by forcing him to choose between Uther and Merlin, so that was pretty cool.

3. Note how Morgana calls Uther Uther and Arthur calls him Father. In a strange way Morgana has a more equal relationship with Uther despite being a woman. Iiiiiinteresting.

3a. I dislike the magic words on this show intensely. It’s like they just mumble random syllables and hope it all sounds vaguely mystical.

1×07: The Gates of Avalon

1. Gaius continually patronizes Morgana and abuses his position of trust as her court physician. It was really hard to like you in this episode, Gaius, I hope things improve. Or not.

2. Theory about Arthur’s strangely unbesotted behavior: emotional constipation. He doesn’t have a mother to help him out, he can’t go to his father about his crush, Morgana would tease him horribly, and he can’t talk to Merlin because Merlin’s–well–Merlin. So he was just kind of, “I like this pretty girl but wtf do I do now?” It’s not like tumbling a chambermaid, after all. And assuming any of his knights were relaxed enough around him to joke around with him–I highly doubt their stories about women would’ve been very helpful in Arthur’s attempts at Courtly Courting.

3. I think maybe Uther’s “Arthur, you’re too young.” was really more of him trying to say “Marry you off to the daughter of a king so weak he let his kingdom be overrun by raiders? Uh, NO.” without actually saying it and offending his guests. I mean…Arthur’s at least twenty. He’s plenty old enough to be married, esp. in those times.

3a. OMG SPECULATION: correlation between big sweeping coats and evil? Arthur’s big sweeping trenchcoat = irrational witchhunt without questioning his father’s orders, Edwin’s big sweeping hooding coat, Sophia’s ridiculously huge velvet cloak. Sweeping cloaks are the new goatee, baby, and what’s more they’re not gender-dependent! Rock!

1×08: The Beginning of the End

1. At first I found it kind of lolarious that the director was trying to make Mordred seem all ominous and stuff by associating this scared, injured little boy with OMINOUS MUSIC but then towards the end? I don’t know, maybe it was just the bad acting, but he started to creep me out a little. If I were ever to write him, I suspect his past would be a lot like Gaara’s — they have the same creepy pale-blue eyes.

2. Oh Morgana. She’s such a good person, doesn’t hesitate to take Mordred under her wing when Merlin foists him on to her, and unlike Arthur is willing to act without prompting to do what she believes to be good, even if it means defying Uther. She’s actually rather impulsive, I think, but no less noble than her foster brother. When she has to apologize — she’s forcing herself in to the role expected of her and it’s hurting her so, so much.

3. Arthur! Struggling with his loyalty to Morgana, his sense of right and wrong, and his desire for Uther’s approval. I think pride is one of his primary motivations, but tied up with that is of course the theme of expectations which, as you probably already know, I love. I can’t help but wonder if he’s ever jealous of Morgana: Morgana, who is on much more equal footing with Uther than he is despite not being related to him by blood; Morgana, who isn’t afraid to act in defiance of Uther when she believes him while he holds himself back out of fear. Bet that hurts the testosterone.

3a. When Morgana was sneaking out with Mordred — I couldn’t help but think of Little Red Riding Hood and her basket of goodies, taking Mordred back to granny who lives in the woods. I guess that makes Arthur the Big Bad Wolf — though by the end of the ep, he’s become the Woodcutter. Hasn’t he?

1×09: Excalibur

1. I appreciate the show trying not to rely on CGI for all things but seriously, that ring of fire was just sad. It’s not even touching the victim, how the hell can it hurt them! Plus it was totally transparent how they were doing it, too. *shakes head* And I can’t think why Merlin thought it would be useful–it couldn’t even kill Gaius who is already a skeevy old man; how on earth is it supposed to kill an undead knight who died in his prime what what? And why exactly did he think a big ol’ ring of very obvious fire was the spell to cast while the knight was standing in the middle of the courtyard of a king who hates magic?

2. More of Gaius abusing the trust people place in him to administer their drugs! I wish I could find the plotbunnies this fact is giving me, just so I can kill them dead. Seriously. Drugs and abuse of trust and pretty young things? Never a good combination. *buries face in hands*

3. Lots more about the relationship between Uther and Arthur! Expectations and their (lack of) fulfillment are one of my narrative kinks, so. I think we see why Uther flip-flops in his treatment of Arthur–first he has those little proud smiles when he officially names Arthur his heir, and then he’s all cold and “Just let the knights fight and die for you, Arthur, it’s not such a big deal” when Pellinore took up the challenge. And it’s because he is ambivalent towards his son! On the one hand, he loves Arthur and is proud of him. And on the other hand, he loved Ygraine and it was Arthur’s birth that, quite literally, killed her. So he doesn’t always know how to react to Arthur and hence, emotional constipation. Arthur, meanwhile, just thinks that he’s not good enough.

3a. I see what my friends say about the actors doing the best with that they were given. Because that father/son bonding scene post-fight? Awkward as hell. Even so, not without its good points. Arthur was clearly astonished and then uncomfortable with the entire situation and what he said; Uther was cool and collected and convicted and totally in control. And then it was all diffused by NO HUGS AT ALL WHAT and Arthur not daring to touch his father the king and then the little jokes to make all the awkwardness go away. It was like Arthur was a little kid again! Which may be why Uther looked a little sad after Arthur left; his baby boy’s all grown up now, coming into manhood while Uther is just getting older and wrapped up in his hate.

1×10: The Moment of Truth

You don’t get commentary for this one because I’m not watching it. I just don’t feel like dealing with anachronistic feminist themes with what is likely to be very clumsy execution right now, even if the episode will probably reveal more about Merlin’s background. Maybe some other time.

And, okay, maybe I want to get on to the slashy potential of the next episode. SO SUE ME

1×11: The Labyrinth of Gedref

1. I hated Anhora. Every time he appeared on screen, every time he opened his mouth, I had this irrepressible urge to beat his fucking face in. I call bullshit on every line he spewed about not wanting to hurt Camelot and having no power over the curse.

2. Some nice Arthur moments in this one. I mean, first he reverted to being a complete prat (which makes me wonder what happened–did they plan for this one to aired earlier on in the season, maybe?) but then he got better. Despite the magic and responsibility denial, he did own up to it in the end, and when he did, he was committed to it.

…you know, now that I think on it, this should’ve gone before Excalibur. Excalibur is where they resolve some of the issues Arthur has with his father and his expectations as prince and eventual heir. This episode was (partly) about exacerbating those issues. It would’ve worked so much better, and would’ve meant that Arthur’s sudden prattishness wasn’t quite so mystifying.

3. You know you can totally tell the unicorn’s not actually dying. The horse is just lying there on its side while the strange two-legger says strange two-legger words and pets its face.

3a. Bradley James is so, so pretty. *___* That one moment when he’s telling Merlin to flush out the unicorn? And then lying on his stomach after confronting Anhora and presenting a view ofhis ass? Oh yeah.

1×12: To Kill the King

There is no review for TKTK, because I’m saving it for later. If you thought I was skipping the less Merlin/Artur-centric ones, why YOU’D BE RIGHT.

I’m totally going to get back to it, though, as well as The Moment of Truth. Once I’ve seen Le Morte d’Arthur.

1×13: Le Morte d’Arthur

1. Oh, Uther. First the Question Beast took his wife, and now his son. All those bits with Anthony Head looking at an unconscious Arthur, trying to carry him to his room–to be strong. Ohhhh Uther…

It’s funny but Uther’s the crazed purger but I actually find him more sympathetic with Gaius–probably Gaius comes across to me as really passive and self-serving and ugh.

2. Time scale as all fucked up in this episode–from Merlin’s actually days-long journey to the Isle and back and then Arthur only being healed overnight and then Merlin’s mother conveniently shows up and starts dying of a mysterious disease.

On a related note, that conversation between Merlin and his mother? OUCH. Just. They were talking about two completely different things, and. Yeah.

3. I totally have my own little canon for Nimueh, Morgana, and the Old Religion now. Might get some fic out of it, who knows~?

3a. Overall I felt that the writers were pretty clumsy (like, moreso than usual) buuuuut all the actors put in some really great performances, which pretty much rescued the script from doom.

Corambis was pretty much everything I wanted it to be.

(This quick knee-jerk reaction isn’t spoiler-y in a specific events sense, but may be spoiler-y in a general-story-structure kind of way.)

I mean, it started out a little shaky and heavy on the exposition—Monette handwaved the beginning of their journey quite a bit—but by the time the book really got going? Oh god. By the end, I felt so happy for Mildmay and Felix, like my heart was lifting and spreading wings. It’s not a get-up-and-dance-and-squee kind of happy—it’s a sort of gentle sense of hope and rightness and the internal equivalent of a grin that wont’ fucking go away. Because those boys, they’ve worked so fucking hard for a happy ending, and they got one, dammit, they’ve got one and while I’d’ve liked to see Mehitabel and Vincent, and more Mildmay than was in there, I can see why Monette would make the call for them to take the back seat a bit because Mirador was Mildmay’s book and it makes sense that this book would be about Felix. This series’ strength has ever been the characters, rather than the plot (perhaps natural, considering the nature of its rotating first person POV) and oh god, I can’t even properly express myself here. FELIX, YOU ARE CHANGING AND BEING HAPPY AND A;DKAJSLDF OH GOD I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU I CANNOT EVEN DEAL.

It was worth the wait, to read this thing in one sitting. Oh, boys. I’m so, so, happy for you both.

BRB, off to reread.

Regarding Order of the Stick’s latest…the great debate, it would seem, is how justified the dragon is in her wrath and her plan. Before that, I want to talk about how she compares to World of Warcraft’s Onyxia.

As the title of this post might clue you in, she’s very much an anti-Onyxia. I don’t know how deliberate the reference is–it’s entirely possible Blizzard stole the black-body-purple-wings convention for black dragons from D&D; in fact, it’s even more likely. This doesn’t change the fact that the first time I saw that black-bodied-purple-winged black dragon momma I immediately thought of Onyxia, broodmother of the black dragonflight.

But she’s not Onyxia at all. First, she unnamed–doubtful that she has the same kind of power and position Onyxia has broodmother. She’s also a family dragon; references a mate (deceased) and her only child (also deceased) and has a motherly interest in her son’s mating prospects*. She cares very much for her single child. Compare to Onyxia–a named dragon in a position of great power, manipulative and cruel, with many legions of children that she uses as her foot soldiers and canon fodder. She is the matriarch of a clan she doesn’t care about at all; OotS-dragon is mother of a family that’s all she has left. She expresses emotions such as love and fidelity, neither of which are traits conventionally associated with “bad”. They are both cunning beasts, but cunning is not in of itself an evil trait either (though it is associated with it–as if do-gooders have to be blunt charge-first-ask-later types. *eyeroll*)

So, back to the moral dilemma at hand: to be sure, the dragon has devised a cruel revenge to inflict on Vaarsuvius. Is she justified in this or not? Was she right, or is she wrong?

The answer is that there doesn’t HAVE to be a right or wrong. Vaarsuvius and the adventurers killed her only child, memento of her mate–who met a similar fate. Both killed to satisfy the avarice of adventurers, which is even less noble than killing a dragon to stop it from, say, a fiery rampage. The adventurers were certainly not in the right. But does the dragon go too far with her revenge? She says she will not only kill Vaarsuvius’ children, but she will take their souls and disappear with them, presumably meaning they will be unable to ascend to heaven–trapping them for all eternity. Her revenge is cruel not only to Vaarsuvius, but to his children, who will presumably suffer as long as she keeps their souls with her. His children have not done anything to her–then again, the dragon didn’t do anything to Vaarsuvius & Co. either.

So we’ve established that neither side is right in this situation. The question remains then, who is more justified? Who, relatively speaking, is the least at fault? The dragon seeks revenge, and we call that wrong, but what else should she do to avenge the death of her only child? It’s very hard to fault her for demanding justice for her child’s death; the only thing she can be faulted for is the magnitude of her (over?)reaction. We want to say she shouldn’t seek justice on her own, but if she doesn’t, who will? It isn’t as if there’s a joint committee of adventurers and dragons to arbitrate disputes over acts of gross cruelty between said parties. If the dragon doesn’t take matters into her own hand, no one will. If she’d been a hero–if this was the othe way around–somehow I don’t think anyone would hesitate to support her actions in intent, if not in execution.

In conclusion: I can only judge that she is wrong in the magnitude of her revenge, because it forces unrelated and innocent parties to suffer for Vaarsuvius’ wrong (though it is admittedly rather ingenius and is, (un?)fortunately, not your standard fiery rampage). I can’t say the dragon is unjustified in wanting revenge, and I couldn’t say how else she is supposed to find justice, because as far as we’ve seen so far, there will be no justice save the justice she makes herself. Which doesn’t mean her revenge should be condoned…but her motives can be understood and emphasized with, at least.

Morality is hard.

* I like her line about being open-minded. You can’t even call her a bad mother, can you? Not when it comes to her own.

It occurred to me why it is very easy to make Uchiha Itachi (of Naruto fame), and indeed any Uchiha character, into a vampire. It’s because both the Sharingan and vampirism are inherently parasitic means of gaining power.

Think about it. The Sharingan depends on copying and storing the jutsus of other ninjas; it’s only originality is the fact that it isn’t. I mean, it kind of makes sense given Kishimoto’s given history of ninja historically having a bunch of squabbling clans instead of villages, each with their own special signature jutsus. Why come up with a niche technique that’s powerful against almost everyone when you can come up with a technique that’s less powerful against everyone? It was bound to show up sooner or later; the Uchiha just lucked out.* The Sharingan depends on the existence of other people in order to be effective and grant power. Even its level-ups work the same way. The Mangekyou Sharingan depends on the existence of the best friend (whose blood must be spilled in order to grant greater power. Sound familiar?). Preventing eye deterioration and the subsequent loss of power and blindness depends on having a brother to kill.

Whereas vampirism, well, do I really need to spell it out? Vampires depends on spilling the blood of others in order to achieve longevity, power, and plain survival. If there are no other people, vampires will die; in the same way, without other ninjas to oppose and live around, the Sharingan is kind of useless except as a nifty way to dodge blows–a tactic that will only work for so long.

So while normally these AU and crossover things hit snags when it comes to translating powers, Itachi–>vampire works eerily well. The black-and-red color scheme doesn’t hurt the transition either. ;)

* Incidentally, this is why I think the Uchiha rely on katon (fire) jutsu to show when their nin reach manhood, and why they consider themselves to be specialists in katon jutsu. Once they became legitimate (Konohagakure’s police force) they needed a way to prove they weren’t just filthy jutsu thieves, profiting off the hard work of the ninja around rather than creating their own.

I actually downloaded this yesterday and then proceeded TO NOT EVEN UNZIP THE FILE.

Clearly school is screwing with my head.

As always, warning for incoherent rambling + spoilers.

1. DEAR DOCTOR PLEASE DIAF. And get your grubby pedophilic paws off of Masataka!

2. That first page? The blue one? The very last panel at the end with Masataka looking over his hands looks veeeeery familiar…I think I’ve seen Souma in a similar pose. But I can’t remember when!  I am sure that this is important. Now if I could only figure out how!

3. SHIT WHO IS THAT CHICK and why does she bring Masataka rape flashbacks?

Note that she looks veeeery similar to Souma, in hair style (where it parts) and the long hair. At first I thought she was like the real Sakurako and the albino running around the estate was an imposter. But then the flashbacks…is she accusing Souma of something? I have my theories about why Souma raped Masataka but they revolve very specifically about the different nature of the relationship Souma had to him. I don’t think Souma ever had a similar relationship to anyone else; hence, I don’t think he’s ever raped anyone else. That is, upon reflection, a terrible sentence to have written. And yet, so canon.

4. Then the lady freaks when she sees Sakurako? Maybe she is the real Sakurako after all. Maybe she’s trying to warn Souma of his sister’s intentions? And that’s why Masataka had his flashbacks–she’s saying he’s a good person, he doesn’t believe her? What? WHAT?

5. Doctor dude is losing his control over Souma. HE DOES NOT LIKE IT.

6. It’s terrible but Doctor dude is probably reading all these seductive undertones into Masataka’s flower-bringing when really, Masataka just has some basic human decency. Even after all that Souma’s done to him. I think–yeah, I think he’s guilty. It’s not that Souma didn’t deserve his hate…but he feels that he drove Souma to slit his wrists. What am I saying. There’s like a direct correlation between Masataka saying he hates Souma to Souma trying to make amends.

Masataka is such an ordinary guy. He doesn’t deserve to be caught up in Souma’s fucked-up-ness, which I think Souma knew right up until he realized that keeping Masataka away would mean losing him.

7. Souma knows Masataka nearly tried to kill himself? Does he feel guilty too? What am I saying, he hates himself, of course he feels guilty. But perhaps…I don’t know. Hmmm. Food for thought, certainly.

Perhaps it was merely a representation of Masataka’s empathy. He’s felt despair to the point of trying to take his own life…he understands where Souma is, sort of.

8. Wait so Souma’s mother was a maid, not a noblewoman? I thought she was like a noblewoman from England who fell in love with Souma’s dad…

…she was a maid?

9. I KNEW IT I TOTALLY CALLED IT Souma only started growing out his hair when his father grew sick and mistook him/wanted to mistake him for his mother. I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT. There is no relationship Souma had until Masataka that did not have a sexual component! Souma’s dad is sick, man. Making his bastard son dress up like his mistress so he can apologize to her for being an asshole. Daaaaaaamn.

Short-haired Souma looks SUSPICIOUSLY SIMILAR to Masataka.

10. A;DKLJFA;LSDKF I WANT IN ON MASATAKA’S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE. ;___;

11. AGAIN WITH THE SOUMA PARALLELS I can’t put my finger on when/where exactly I’ve seen but fuck if Souma hasn’t done the exact same thing–introspection while resting his forehead on his forearm on something.

12. WAIT WHAT was Masataka having a vision or was Sakurako narrating or WHAAAAT?

13. Sakurako is fucked up, man.

14. NO MASATAKA STAY AWAY FROM THE PEDO DOCTOR DUDE who also apparently beats his uh, wife? What? ASSHOLE COMPLETE ASSHOLE I would have preferred without the abuse, though. I mean, we get he’s a duplicitious pedophilic manipulative obsessive asshole. We don’t really need spousal abuse to drive the point home.

15. YOU SEE HE ADMITS HIS PEDOPHILIC LUST FOR SOUMA WHO WAS LIKE FOURTEEN WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED AA;LDFJALS;DJF SICK SICK SICK. It’s not just the sex, even–it’s that the fact he went after Souma when he was so young probably contributed to Souma’s fantastically fucked-up emotions and self-perception.

(The abused becomes the abuser.)

16. Doctor’s vision of Masataka as young-Souma is ANOTHER parallel–this time to Souma and his father. His father sees Souma as his mother and interacts with him so (not sexually, I don’t think, but the apologizing and the dressing up? Yeah). The Doctor sees Masataka as young-Souma, the object of his desire, which…makes him angrier? Makes him want Souma more? Is he angry that he can never totally possess Souma, who he obviously has obsessed and wanted for at least his student days which is about 10 years ago in Souma’s past so…

Basically the parallel is that they as themselves are being shunted aside and though they are desired, they are desired through the lens of their superficial resemblence to the desirer’s true object of desire. Souma is shunted aside for his mother; Masataka is shunted aside for Souma.

The chaining/parallel of events between the two of them are becomign quite interesting, if terrible. SOUMA YOU FUCKED UP PROTECTING MASATAKA BIG TIME. BIG TIME.

17. Why Doctor is so set on abusing Masataka: he wants Masataka to speak. He wants Masataka to scream. He wants Masataka to react.

Why? Because Souma never did. And he could live with that as long as Souma was equally indifferent and unreactive to all of his lovers. And he was–until Masataka.

Obsession and jealousy and inadequacy and obsession.When he makes Masataka react, he can pretend he can make Souma react as well. He’s seeing indifferent young-Souma in Masataka’s reticence (which I believe is a coping mechanism or some kind, perhaps just like Souma’s indifference was.)

18. I don’t know if I believe Doctor dude about Souma killing his stepmother. I mean. I just can’t. He’s so passive throughout the story–the only time he acts is when it comes to Masataka, when it looks like he’s going to lose him. It just doesn’t ring quite true to me, for him to kill his stepmother. Of course, we don’t know anything yet about the relationship between him and his stepmother…but I am leery of Doctor dude, and I don’t trust him. He wants Masataka away from Souma. He might very well lie about this in hopes of scaring him off.

Which does beg the question of that scene where Souma attacks the cherry tree. Was that Sakurako narrating to Masataka? Masataka having a vision (unlikely, there’s been no supernatural stuff prior to the incident)? Masataka speculating/making a guess at the scratches? I’m leaning towards Sakurako narrating off page. It fits with the Doctor’s accusation–they’re both trying to drive Masataka away, through abuse and threats and fear. It’s not like Masataka doesn’t have a reason to believe Souma is secretly a violent psycho.

19. FUCK WHERE IS THAT LITTLE PANEL OF SOUMA WITH HIS HAND OVER HIS MOUTH FROM? This chapter’s theme is parallels, I think. Parallels between Masataka and (young) Souma.

20. SHIT WHAT NO. When everything is at its worst, Masataka turn to Souma? Well, let’s see. He having trouble at school. His brother is dead. He’s being attacked by Sakurako and the Doctor for no reason he can discern. Souma just tried to slit his wrists because of him.

So…maybe he went to Souma because, at this point in time, he is the least of three evils. Masataka was just violently raped and tortured, it stands to reason he’s not thinking straight. And perhaps the cruelty of Sakurako and the Doctor have had the reverse of the effect they intended and driven him closer towards Souma.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Masataka, just leave, please. Leave, tell someone, something, anything. Don’t stay there. Don’t go to Souma. Please.

21. FUCK WHITE OUT EYES. See, Masataka’s eyes always whiteout when he’s angry, when his shocked, when he experiences really strong emotions. This entire chapter’s been about paralleling him to Souma–now, at the end, with Souma’s fury, he was being paralleled to Masataka. This is the first time he’s had the whiteout eyes. This is the first time he has felt emotion on the same level Masataka has felt it.

His anger would be so much more endearing if I did not suspect it to be the result of his own possession and obsession. He is angered by Masataka’s pain, yes–but he is also angered that someone dared to touch what is his.

TL;DR: SCANLATION WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOOU?

So, no I haven’t seen the whole thing. I want to, I started to on YouTube, but ten minute chunks is no way to see a movie, especially one that comes this highly recommended. So I’ve seen maybe the first twenty-thirty minutes or so? And then guiltily snuck to the last fifteen minutes because I am awful with not spoiling myself, a habit I should probably break some time in the near future.

Anyway.

The ending conversation between Jangsaeng and Gonggil: my limited literary context translation.

Jangsaeng: [tells the story of how he's been blind all his life] [When I became a player, I was blind to anything other than that life--to protecting Gonggil. When I came to Seoul, I was blinded by the prospect of starting over and making a life as a clown where Gonggil wouldn't have to be pimped and I wouldn't have to stand by and watch it happen. When I came to the palace I was too blinded by my own need to protect him and my jealousy of the king to see that he didn't need me, that I wasn't what he needed, I wasn't what he wanted. I loved him too much to see that he loved the king. And now I don't see anything besides Gonggil's happiness without me, and I accept that.]

Gonggil: [Is it really so good to be blind?] [How can you be happy that I don't love you back? How can you be HAPPY that the person you love doesn't love you back? How can you BELIEVE that I don't love you?]

Jangsaeng: [I love it, I really do] [If that's the way it is then I can accept it as long as you're happy.]

Gonggil: [repeats line from opening dialogue; "Here stands a fool, rash and proud. A sightless fool who knows not where he stands."] [You're an idiot. I couldn't be truly happy without you. You don't know how much YOU mean to ME.]

Gonggil: ["Get down this instant."] [Come back, don't leave me. You don't have to die. There's a way out]

Jangsaeng: ["Ho, a tongue most untamed. I am King of this palace, you wench."] [I've already made my choices and I've paid their price. It's not your fault.]

Gonggil: ["Indeed you are. I've always wanted to see my King. And now I've seen thee, I see...Thou are blind to what is high and what is low. So thou hast turned the world upside down."] [You don't get that I can't accept that. I can't accept you walking away, I can't accept you dying, I can't accept living without you. You can't walk away from me and expect me to accept your sacrifice.]

Gonggil: [asks what Jangsaeng would be in the next life] [Can you forgive me for causing this to happen to you? For all the trouble I've caused you, all the pain you've endured on my behalf, to keep me safe. Only for me to push you away in the end.]

Jangsaeng: [says he'd be a minstrel again] [I forgive you. I have no regrets--I would rather live this life all over again, and be with you.]

Gonggil: ["Witless fool! Why seek again thy cause for ruin?"] [I don't deserve your love, or your loyalty.]

Jangsaeng: ["What new body awaits you?"] [Then what about you? If you truly believe that I would be better off without you, if you'd truly rather live again without me by your side...what life would you choose?]

Gonggil: ["A minstrel! And nothing more."] [I would rather live this life again] (And Jangsaeng knew that’s what Gonggil would say: Gonggil is as loyal to him as he is to Gonggil, whatever hardships their loyalty and love for each other has caused them, and that’s all he needs to know for it to be okay.]

Jangsaeng: ["The world's but a stage. Kingly is he who struts for a while, then exits in style. Then together again, we shall royally this blessed earth roam!"] [Everything comes to an end. Better to live with no regrets and die without regrets (and now that I know you love me, I can.). If we die today, if we die together or apart, I will see you again in the next life.] (You could see this as an invitation to double suicide.)

Gonggil: [starts onto the rope] [Thank you. I'll see you there.]

(obviously paraphrased. will be interesting to see if my interpretation changes once I’ve had the chance to see the whole movie.)

—

1. Also my limited viewing of the movie has given me this impression of Jangsaeng and Gonggil: they aren’t lovers. At least, in the physical sense. Jangsaeng because he doesn’t want to come across like another john just interested in Gonggil’s beauty, so he contents himself with trying to protect him, and give him a better life. Gonggil because…he has issues with physicality. Violence and sex…maybe he thinks Jangsaeng can do better than him, maybe he feels guilty for being the cause of so much pain to Jangsaeng, both physical and emotional. Whatever relationship they have, it’s not brotherly and it’s not platonic. They aren’t lovers in a physical sense, but perhaps in an emotional sense–that feeling of companionship, of implicit trust, of intimacy, of understanding that’s almost instinctual. I don’t think even they themselves fully understood any of it–too many issues in the way that they didn’t know how to address.

Maybe there was even a bit of class divide in it, too. Gonggil presents a very delicate, very feminine, rather upper-class sort of image. Jangsaeng is very obviously a rough-and-tumble peasant. Most men react to Gonggil’s femininity by seeing “object of desire,” probably because they are themselves high class and view Gonggil as lower class and therefore sexually available to them. Jangsaeng seens Gonggil and he also reacts to the feminine cues Gonggil presents, but where the upper class officials see “peasant woman to be exploited” Jangsaeng sees “noblewoman to be cherished and protected.” Not to say that Jangsaeng actually sees Gonggil as being a woman–he clearly views Gonggil as being on equal standing with him re: acrobatics and acting skill. But he reacts to the female cues in Gonggil’s appearance and manner. Gonggil is “above” him and therefore untouchable and unavailable to him; therefore, he settles for protecting him as best he can because he can’t have Gonggil.

Whereas Gonggil probably comes with the attendant issues of being (forced into) prostitution–feelings of unworth, of shame, of self-loathing. It might be a little cavalier for me to say that these are blanket issues but the truth is that it’s really, really hard to write/protray a prostitute who’s happy being a prostitute. Oh, you can do it–or at least counterfeit it–but it has to come with a lot of caveats, you have to be able to spin it so that those issues are rendered moot by the society that the prostitution takes place in. That’s not what happens in the King and the Clown, so I feel safe in saying that Gonggil probably had some of those issues.

2. I think Gonggil is a good example of why uke only works in highly unrealistic yaoi manga. In anything vaguely resembling reality, it’s too damn creepy and disturbing to allow anything resembling a healthy relationship.

Literally just got back from watching Let the Right One In. My rec in two words: watch it.

I can’t really speak for the cinematography except in a really general, vague kind of way; because I’m so much about writing, the narrative and the story and how it’s told is what I tend to focus on. If you fear it’s like Twilight, well, I’m almost 100% sure it isn’t, despite never having read the books or seen the movie. Twilight (and a lot of other vampire media) tend to romanticize the myth, focus on the loneliness of immortality and the pain of seeing all you love die, the angst of having to kill to live. You know what I mean; from what I know of Twilight that’s more or less the deal.

That’s not what Let the Right One In does. The vampire mythos it uses isn’t anything really new, but it’s presented in a really–neutral kind of way, is the best way to put it. It’s free of any outside judgement, the film’s perspective doesn’t focus on any one part of being a vampire but rather presents all of it: relatively-good and bad. The need for blood because you have no choice, the inability to settle and connect because of having to feed, the danger and longing for connection and relationships, the way things between vampires and humans can’t work, the loneliness of being a predator among prey and watching people you love grow old and die. It’s not romanticized. It’s just laid out there in a very…matter-of-fact way and I really like it. There’s no value judgement made.

That’s a really odd statement because the film almost negates Eli’s assertion that he only kills because he must. He accidentally makes another vampire, who–upon realizing what she has become–consciously chooses to orchestrate her own death. So there is another option, which is to simply die. Eli made the choice to live and hence the choice to kill; he chose the loneliness and the pain and the hunger and everything. Virginia…didn’t. What is the difference here? Perhaps it is the fact that Virginia’s an adult and Eli was turned at twelve and has been twelve all his life. The implication is that only youth would want to be a vampire, I guess, the desire to be a vampire, the romanticizing of vampires, all of those are prespectives of youth–if you were an adult, if you’d lived through death and pain and loss and grief and knew what it did, you were an adult who had had to make the hard choices in life–you would not choose to be a vampire. You would not choose your immortality over the lives of others.

I am reminded of a quote from the webcomic Grayling. Paraphrased: Murder’s not wrong just because you kill someone; it’s wrong because you can’t know how many people will be affected by this single action.

That perhaps is the one message Let the Right One In gives about vampirism. You would not choose if you had lived a full life and knew what your actions could do to others. Okay, so maybe a value judgement was made–but not in the way you typically see them made about vampires. It’s presented as an awkward, lonely existence, I think. It’s not a life you’d want unless you couldn’t see the consequences and ramifications of your decisions (which is, perhaps, a quality associated with youth). To be a vampire is to survive, not to live. It’s not a coincidence that the movie is set during the winter, where everything is dead and desperately holding down the fort in hope for spring to arrive.

This is, upon reflection, a rather idealistic notion of humanity, that to be an adult is to be wise enough to realize what being a vampire would entail, and to judge that your continued existence is not worth the lives you would take the grief of your victimes’ untold loved ones. Most vampire stories like to present humanity as inherently selfish, wanting what they can’t have and hanging on to existence when they get forced into vampirehood anyway. Let the Right One In is…really refreshing, in that way.

(Interjection: Just found out that American publishers had the title cut down to Let Me In. WTF, American publishers. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is longer than Let the Right One In, which has the benefit of being both poetic and relevant to the novel’s subject matter while making commentary on it SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CUT IT DOWN you make it too personal I don’t think this story is supposed to be a microcosm of Eli and Oskar, it’s supposed to be like–a wider tale about vampires and humans and innocence and youth and adulthood period. FAIL. SUPER FAIL.)

Um. What else. Little snippets, commentary on details I noticed and liked–but, hmm, okay, one last thing.

I will never look at vampires the same again.

—

1. The Rubik’s cube! I really liked it as symbolic of their friendship as it starts out. Oskar offers it to her with a single face, all white. White has connotation of purity and innocence. At this point he’s bullied and wants to lash out but hasn’t actually committed any violence; his Rubik’s cube offer is representative of his untained state.

Eli takes the cube and plays with it, toying with the idea of a friendship. He never changes the white face, he doesn’t touch it–he doesn’t want to taint Oskar’s innocence and purity. He ultimately rejects the idea of a relationships, tries to hand the cube back–but Oskar won’t take it, makes Eli accept his friendship and continued association. Eli has no choice.

But then Eli gives back the cube, completed: he’s thought the idea of a friendship over, and he’s accepted. Accepted Oskar’s offer, and reciprocated. I suppose the use of a Rubik’s cube as a metaphor for friendship is also significant in that it’s a puzzle to them both–Oskar is bullied and alone much of the time, Eli is by his nature as a vampire generally forced into complete solitude.

2. Repeat of the scene where Oskar touches the window while undressed for bed! First at the very beginning, when he’s at his most alone–and then after Eli leaves (ostensibly for good), and he’s lost his friend and uh, girlfriend. Um. The shots are so eerily familiar I almost wonder whether the director just reused footage. It was that creepy.

3. Surprisingly the ending is the most monstrous part of Eli’s behavior. Prior to that you can make the argument that Eli is doing what he needs to survive, and thus his feeding is presented without any sugar-coating or any abstractness or “fade-to-black.” It’s utterly clear what he’s doing.

But at the end, his killing is almost gratuitous. He didn’t need to kill those boys to save Oskar. He could have scared them off, he could have just knocked them out. He slaughtered three of them, and only one of them was actually harming Oskar, though the other two were implicit in the plot. The thing is, this is when Eli is truly monstrous: using his advantages over humans intentionally and, well, wastefully. And it is that moment where we discreetly cut away from his violence. This is significant!

4. The fact that the two protagonists are children adds a veneer of innocent-first-love to the storyline that is completely, utterly creepy because of how at odds it is with the desperate, unhappy, violent story of vampirism and vampire/human. It adds an element of horror that would be completely missing with adult, or even teenage protagonists. Their innocence–and how that innocence and obliviousness allows them to accept and perpetrate violence–is terrible. The juxtaposition of the adult themes and child protagonists is utterly, utterly, creepy. Somehow it–reveals those themes even more, makes them more overt and therefore more terrifying and the juxtaposition, as I said, just adds more oomph. Narratively a really good decision, I think.

(Interjection the Second: American remake? WHAAAAAT? Well, apparently it’s more like a re-adaptation rather than a re-make of the Swedish film, but. I’m almost afraid. It’s going to be directed by Matt Reeves. Did he make Cloverfield? I thought I’ve seen that mentioned, though since I haven’t seen Cloverfield it’s…kind of irrelevant to my opinion. We’ll see.)

5. Please don’t let Oskar become the next old dude. I mean, he’s kind of creepy and all, but I don’t want him to become Hakan, who was just as lonely and isolated as Eli. :(

6. Wanna read the book. Like, now.

eta:

7. Vampirism is depicted as an accident, it’s not intentional and it can’t be premeditated (as the usual exchange-of-blood lore goes). It can happen when a vampire fucks up, as happens to Virginia. It’s not glamorous or mystical. It results from mistakes and human error.

eta II:

8. You might think of Let the Right One In as a bildungsoman but it’s really, really not. Near the beginning of this I asserted that the choice to live as a vampire rather than to die is a choice made only with the short-sightedness of youth. For all the years that Eli has lived, he still hasn’t grown up. Maybe he doesn’t like being a vampire, maybe he doesn’t like have to use people to get the blood he needs. But that doesn’t change the fact that he chose to be a vampire when there was a another, completely valid and possible, option open to him. He hasn’t grown up–he hasn’t learned what his killing to survive, which he views as necessary, can do to his victims (case in point: Jocke and Lacke).

Oskar makes the same choice that Eli makes. He does throw away his knife when he sees Eli kill Lacke. But when Eli emerges from he bathroom–splattered in Lacke’s blood–Oskar allows Eli to kiss him. He doesn’t rub away the blood. He accepts what Eli has told him: Eli must kill to survive. Oskar makes a value judgement: Eli is more important than the people Eli has to kill, and what will happen to the people who love the people that Eli has to kill. He operates with the short-sightedness (and lack of empathy?) of youth. He doesn’t grow up.

So really, Let the Right One In is more like an anti-bildungsroman. Oskar is given the mature into manhood, into adulthood–and rejects it. For puppy love, for infatuation. Look at how easily he runs away, barely any angst at all. He’s not going to grow out of that youthful microcosmic view of the world, not with Eli by his side, not as long as he accepts and condones Eli’s decisions as right and correct.

(I freaking love this movie!)

Let’s play a game: how many literary tropes is the Doctrine of Labyrinths series subverting at the same time? Spoilers for all three books, last bit of DoL meta spam yay!

—

1. Fiery-tempered redheads (‘cause god damn does Felix have a temper, and not in a cute, amusing way. More like a “beat a random guy bloody and abuse his position as a top” kind of way. Even Mildmay has a temper, and he’s probably just as violent as Felix, though he’s a hell of a lot better as keeping it under control.)

2. Long-lost siblings finding each other

3. Mystical bonds binding people together for life (As in Wheel of Time: think of the Aes Sedai Bonding Warders. The roles of the esclavin and obligataire in the obligation d’ame are also flipped from that of the Warder Bond. The Warder—the ordinary person bonded to the magic user—is the one who is supposed to protect; in the obligation d’ame, it’s the obligataire—the magic user doing the bonding—who is the protector.)

4. Use of a lover to blackmail someone into doing something (Mehitabel and her Hallam; the subversion is more from how that particular plotline plays out than the actual use of the trope. Mehitabel plays along and confesses all only when it’s that or watch Felix and Mildmay die; there are no daring rescues or dramatic breakings of ties and no protracted angst. Straightforward plots, I’m telling you.)

5. The heroic archetype period. Which, you know, is not anything new, but Felix definitely falls under the heading of anti-hero.

6. The story of the street kid done good. I’m sure Felix is not amused by this at all, but I am. :D

7. Using an actor as a spy! Go Mehitabel.

Probably more but these are just off the top of my head.