No Solicitation Allowed – August 2008 (Marvel Edition)

May 21, 2008 at 7:32 pm (Comics Issue #427) (, )

So, August solicits are out. I have things to say! Thus, I shall say them. Let’s start with Marvel, shall we?

Marvel Illustrated: the Three Musketeers #3 (of 6) has a reeeeally nice cover. Gorgeous shades of purple, nice textures to the lady’s clothing, all very distinct. The fan and the cane make a nice contrast between delicacy and power–canes are normally used by men, yes? The muted colors of the blood are really nice, almost blending into the shadows. You only notice it when your taking in the lady’s clothes and skirt train, and then…wait, why’s that bit red? And that bit? And that bit? And…yeah. Nice and subtle. Thumbs up!

Ultimate Spider-Man #125 has a cover that is for some reason disturbingly sexual. I think I’ve hung around slashers too much; I’m seeing it EVERYWHERE now argh argh argh. Venom was made for tentacle-rape fics. I mean, Spidey doesn’t look like he’s fighting too hard, does he? It’s tough to tell if he’s panicked, what with the mask…

Amazing Spider-Man #567 looks like it’s time for a new characters! The assassin lady–the Brand New, it looks like her name is–has an awesome design. She’s an assassin who’s after Spidey (and DD) but she’s not dressed like a whore? SCORE! I can even believe she’s got some armor on with that jacket! The animals around her seem to insinuate that she’s a big game hunter of a sort, and yeah the whole big-game-hunter-moving-on-to-better-prey-which-is-(super)humans has been done before, but come on. She looks cool. Let’s see what the Brand New has to bring to the table. First tentacles and now bondage? Tsk tsk, Petey.

Amazing Spider-Man Family #1 has a cover by Adi Granov (nice to know his name now). I like how the title’s incorporated into the cinema marquee, but the cover…well, it’s really nice art, gorgeously detailed and rendered in moody colors that I like, but…for all its technical perfection, his covers never seem to have enough movement. I mean, I see the webbing and the twisting of his costume and the implication of Spidey swinging through the air, but…it feels like I’m looking at a wax statue. A static figure that’s shaped to look like it ought to be moving, but isn’t really.

Spider-Man Summer Special has a few impending wardrobe malfunctions it seems. It is really necessary to have nipples showing on a comic book cover? These are supposed to be heroines worthy of respect, after all. Nipples through the fabric means no bra means breasts flying all over the place. Not very practical. I do like how they used Jean Grey’s X-Men: First Class outfit, though.

True Believers #2 (of 5) has Richard Reed looking like he was drugged on the way to the police station. Um. Okay.

Marvel Adventures Spider-Man #42 has Puma! …who looks suspiciously like Sabretooth, who was recently killed. HMM. Oh, and it’s by Michael Ryan! I like his art, yes I do. You can really see the differences in build between Spidey and Puma; Puma’s all huge and built and more for brute strength but Spidey’s lean and lithe and obviously meant to lean more towards speed and agility.

Secret Invasion: Inhumans #1 (of 4) HI STEPHEN SEIJIC I think you might be my new favorite painterly artist for covers. This is such a cool concept; having Medusa’s hair flowing all around her almost like mounds of silk as she holds her husband’s suit really emphasizes the intimacy of the moment and WHOO DAMN how can anyone paint that much hair and have it look so consistently gorgeous? It’s speaks a lot to her struggling to hold on to what she has left of Black Bolt and the way she’s almost cradling the suit–her arms make it look like she’s almost holding a baby. Like the suit is an unformed piece of Black Bolt, waiting to blossom into the real deal. HOWEVER. I’m wondering why she has to be naked. I mean, it does make her limbs pop even more against the rich red of her hair, but…I’m wondering whether or not the same cover could have been done with her dressed. Also, if she’s supposed to be out looking for Black Bolt, then shouldn’t the cover give her a more…active role? I mean, having her hold his suit is a really nice effect, but I dunno, I’d kind of think that having her marching off to find some answers as to his whereabouts would be really effective and more fitting. Not that the cover’s not great, artistically, but thematically…I’m having some wonderings about it.

Secret Invasion: X-Men #1 (of 4) O HAI X-23 you sure look a lot older than teenaged. What’s with her bad fighting stance? Also, why is her outfit basically a feminized version of Wolverine’s? She does have an identity as a separate character, you know! She’s not just a chick with Wolverine’s powers (and they’re not even identical; she doesn’t have the skeleton, just the adamantium claws). *dark mutters* Oh, and can we just settle on a costume for Emma Frost already? The X-symbol is kind of an eyesore against the white of her costume and OH LOOKIE HERE it draws attentions to her chest, not the mention the lacing–lacing, I ask you, WHY? She’s not a hired dancer or member of the Hellfire Club anymore. Her Astonishing outfit was revealing, true, but it was also revealing in a classier way and definitely a step up from her New X-Men outfit. I liked it as is! What’s with the changes?

Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers #3 (of 3) All I can say is that this triptych cover is pretty freakin’ cool. Michael Ryan has a style I really like; I think he’s improved since his Academy X days! Certainly I have less trouble believing his teenaged guys (aka Chase) are actually teenaged. I see Chase has Fistigons again! I wonder why? And how?

Nova #16 OMG NOVA WHERE ARE YOU LEGS?

Ms. Marvel #30 Like Adi Granov, Greg Horn’s covers are detailed, realistic, and well rendered. But they have the same lack of movement and aren’t quite as good. Also, I’m pretty sure spandex wouldn’t really stretch that way across a woman’s breasts. Just sayin’.

Captain Britain and MI:13 #4 Yes Brian, I am looking at your crotch; no I didn’t need the arrow pointing the way. But thanks anyway.

X-Factor #34 Could you cut She-Hulk’s leotard any higher? I mean, wtf, they’re going even higher than her hips. How the fuck does she fight in that thing?

She-Hulk #32 makes me wish there was a cover with an unconscious man about to be crushed by the title of his cover, because I’m pretty damn sure if there was they wouldn’t be lying around like they’re in the throes of passion the way she is. Also, I see she now has pants. Hooray.

Skrulls vs. Power Pack #2 (of 4) W. T. F.

Runaways #1 happened already, didn’t it? Whatever. HEY RAMOS XAVIN’S ACTUALLY A GIRL, OKAY? Just makin’ sure you got the memo! I really want to like this cover at least a little bit the fact that MOLLY is flashing a little underwear is kind of ruining it. Also, Xavin should not be a guy here! XAVIN SHOULD NOT BE A GUY HERE.

NYX: No Way Home #1 (of 6) has my favorite cover so far, hands down. The washed out blue tint of it all is just gorgeous and really brings the feel of desolation, of isolation, of being down–but the colors of their clothing and Kiden’s face say they’re not out yet and never will be if she has her way. I gotta find the original NYX! We can has X-23 cameo? Please? :D

Patsy Walker: Hellcat #2 (of 5) Yes, Iron Man, sending one person to police an entire state was a super good idea.

Astonishing X-Men #26 features Logan as he takes on his new codename. No longer Wolverine–now, he is…the Crimson Chin! With Cleft, the Boy Chin Wonder!

Uncanny X-Men #501 Memo to Greg Land: PIXIE’S HAIR IS NOW MOSTLY BLACK. ALSO, IT IS NOT STYLED THAT WAY. I’d add more asking why is she so helpless looking, what with her pixie dust (which could take care of the thugs right there) and her Soul Knife and her handy-dandy teleportation spell, but I’m beginning to realize that which the entire world probably already knows.

Cable #6 That is one small baby.

New Exiles #9 & 10 has a badass picture of Psylocke. Or her AU self. Whatever.

GeNext #4 (of 5) The plushie is kinda cute, though her buns looks totally unrealistic. Also, one of my pet peeves: female heroes in skirts. Especially if they can fly.

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